She's definitely pretty and the haircut is flattering. But this photo is a little on the dark and flat side. I would pump up the contrast on it a little to see if that helps. I would also avoid direct flash like this if I could help it. You did avoid redeye. But direct flash just has a flat look that isn't very interesting. It looks like you've got some great window light behind your subject. It would have been good to try using that. Window light is great for portraits.
Photo-John
